Oh Life

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I should be asleep, 6:30 am on Monday comes quickly. However, I sit here wide awake.

Saturday, I had a much anticipated Derby Party that had bought a brand new dress for. I was looking so forward to the event and was going to be recapping it for you today.

Friday night, I was driving home from picking out the perfect hat to go along with this adorable dress when I was in my first big car accident. This is why I sit here wide awake and writing this post instead. I can’t sleep because I’m in pain ( I sustained some injuries to my mouth and chin when my air bag deployed) and I have 12 million thoughts running through my head.

How am I going to get anywhere? How long will this process take? Can I afford a new car? Whhhhhyyyyy did this happen 3 weeks after a proudly made the last payment on my car? Why did this happen at all? How is work going to be effected? How the heck did I chomp down on my tongue this hard? (yes I have a tongue injury haha-it actually is very painful-but seriously how did I…)

I’ve asked myself these all these questions today. It was a rough day, I went back to get things out of my car and I got really shaken up at how it looked. I was so scared at the scene I didn’t remember what it looked like. Today brought back the feelings of being pretty dang terrified and lonely sitting on that highway in my broken car. Seeing the car also stressed me out because I knew it was the end for it and I will now need to find a new one which obviously was not something i budgeted for. All this put me in a rut.

The more I sat on my couch staring into space thinking of everything, the more I realized I need to let it go. Yes, its rough, yes its stressful and yes I have an ugly tongue but it will all go away,  and thankfully I will still be here, sometimes gracefully walking, other times stumbling through this life.

I’m thankful I got to wake up yesterday after everything and kiss my nephews. I’m thankful that I have a job I can go back to when I’m better. I’m thankful I will be able to figure out what to do to get a new car. I’m thankful for the firefighter who sat in my car with me, reminding me I was not alone. I’m thankful for smoothies and ice cream (lol) until I can eat again. I’m thankful for my family  & friends for being so supportive and helpful. I’m thankful to be sitting here writing to you all. I’m thankful that I walked away from a highway accident with injuries i can recover from.

Life, its not always what you think it should be or how you want it to go. At times, you may feel like you are drowning but the what if’s and why’s are outweighed by the blessings, I promise. As hard as it may be to believe sometimes, it will be ok.

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